Resilience in Rejection

“Every time I thought I was being rejected from something good, I was actually being re-directed to something better.” – Dr. Steve Maraboli

There are particular qualities I hope my children inherit from me, and others I wouldn’t mind if they passed up. However, there is one quality that I do hope they manage to gather in their repertoire, and that is my resilience.

I have been rejected. A lot. I remember standing at the end of our driveway as a child, and selling my less than desirable small items from the remnants of my lost toys. And I had no problem doing it.

Another confession from my youth, I asked a boy in my junior high to go to a dance with me. Based on the subject matter, his answered can be presumed. A big fat ‘no’ resulted, and his reason for declining was that he was already going with someone else. True or not, I accepted it, and moved on.

And yes, it continued.

I went on to receive more rejection from various avenues in life, but that never stopped me from asking. Actually, I don’t remember many of my inquiries, yet I do remember all of those who said yes, because those were all the stepping stones that got me where I am today.

It’s not that the rejections are not important, as they are the momentum that forces a fork in the path, to determine if you’re willing to work for the ‘yes’, or go a different direction.

We learn so much more from closed doors than open ones. It doesn’t take much thought or innovation to figure out how to walk through an open door. However, with a closed door, one must identify how the doorknob turns, find out what’s behind the door, and if it’s locked, decide if it is actually desirable to door open in the first place.

Unchallenged roads don't allow for much reflection.

With constant green lights, we don’t learn to discern between what we really need and just accumulate what is given to us, without discernment for quality over quantity. Adversity makes us grow, to get to know, trust and rely on ourselves, without constantly reflecting back what is told to us, about us.

As I look back throughout my life, I can see the times that I was experiencing the most pain and hurt, those are the times that caused me to dig down deep and confirm resolve within myself as to what I wanted and what I didn’t. These determinations came from within and contributed to the foundation shaping my future – unwavering and immune to discouragement from the opinions of others.

I only hope my girls can accept their rejections with grace, and know that they are not their rejections, but instead know they are being quietly directed to the opportunities for which they are meant to receive.


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